I am learning to detach with love. This is not an easy concept for me. I usually want to amputate. For protection.
There are a couple of people in my life, who, try as I might to avoid it, just seem to be able to get under my skin. By their words or lack of words, their facial expressions, just the air around them. Apparently, I'm so enmeshed with these people that I pick up on their vibes in a heart beat. And if those vibes aren't good, I can have a crappy day because of it. Can we say, codependent?
Essentially, I'm confessing here that this is a problem. I admit I don't possess the answers quite yet on how not to do it, how not to pick up the cards. I just realize that I shouldn't be doing it. I want to rise above.
This morning, I was reading Romans 8. It begins with,"Consequently, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." It occurred to me that often my reactions to certain people, are caused by a feeling of condemnation. If they're being cold or dismissive, my self-esteem sinks like the Titanic.
But who are they to make me feel this way? In Christ, I have been set free. I am not condemned. Whether these people are upset with me or not. Really, what they're doing is attempting to manipulate through their behavior. Invoke guilt. Guilt that is not mine. Romans 8 goes on to say that, "For those who are living according to the flesh are intent on the things of the flesh, but those who are living according to the spirit are intent on the things of the spirit. For the mindset of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the spirit is life and peace." (v.5-6 LEB) I have always read this as a passage on sin and worldliness. However, this morning, I interpreted another meaning. I am not experiencing the life and peace of the Spirit because my mindset is intent on another human being. Or even on my self. "But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you."(v. 9a)..."So then... we are obligated not to the flesh."(v. 12) And finally, toward the end of Romans 8, it concludes with, "Who will bring charges against God's elect. God is the one who justifies." (v.33)
I didn't mean to put together a Bible study there, but I found a lot of freedom in this particular chapter today. If I am feeling condemned, or slighted, and my side of the street is clean, then what am I focusing on? The Spirit or the flesh? Who am I making my Higher Power? Who am I allowing to validate me?
"In human occasions one's idea for oneself seems very pitiful; it is up and then down again, retrogression, self-betrayal and then hope and self-discipline, attack, retreat, sloughs, backwaters, opposing tides and gigantic fears, cruel realities.
No creative man in any endeavor escapes this sense of confusion and striving on the plane of material effort...But when he turns inward and leaves all this restfully to the serenity of deathless order he finds release and that the inner wisdom will rebuild his world out of chaos....accept no negative whatever, particularly in the darkest moment, for you have been told that you are temples, of the Holy Spirit which abideth in you and never leaves you nor forsakes you. That trust in the dark brings light, not resignation which is often a negative, for man needs to believe that 'when the enemy comes in like a flood the spirit of the Lord will lift up a a standard against him.' But believe it! In times of anxiety turn like a child to the simple instructions, knowing that 'the Father within doeth the work' and that you can do nothing but rest in that assurance. Be high-careless, strong in faith, a spendthrift in love, keep a valiant heart, put on your crown and be a knight indeed!
Love conquereth all things."
- From Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood
