When I think about the kind of person I am, humility is not one of my stronger traits. Come to think of it, I'm not sure, the majority of United States citizens even knows the definition of it, let alone try to achieve it.
I am, sadly, one of those people who is unaware of my own self worth,and full of unnecessary pride.
I need to reevaluate myself, in any way possible.
We all do.
Its not going to change in a day but we can work it hour by hour, situation by endless situation, and try.
But what is humility really? I have read a lot of colorful descriptions, lately. Most of them contradict themselves, so I'm telling you how I define it, and why it is so important, to act with modesty and talk without self satisfying words.
Do we constantly need to show our strength, in order to prove something to the people around us? No.
Do we need to show that we won't give in, and submit by feeding in to chaotic drama just to put our 2 cents in? HELL NO.
Do you ever think about just stepping back and just letting it happen with out you in it? At first, I will admit it's hard to turn away but then you realize how emotionally exhausting it was, to constantly be a part of bulls&*%.
When you throw away your pride, it doesn't go skipping. It kicks and screams until you're almost running after it to come back.
I know what your thinking. I'm talking about it like its an addiction.
Truth is...it is.
We grew up in this bubble telling us we have to constantly be talking. About how we feel, how we are, how we want to be. I understand where they are coming from...Whoever "they" are, but self expression is a two way road. Listen to others and think about them before you create an image of it's "all about me."
Skimming on the Internet I found a couple things that I think explain this topic.
This one, is about knowing your self worth and and knowing it's not all about your self.
Example one:
A man and a woman laid in a patch of grass admiring the stars above.
The man turns to the woman and says "Doesn't all that make you feel so insignificant compared to what else is out there? And how infinite it is?" The woman smiles and replies " Not insignificant, I just feel blessed to be apart of something so breathtaking."
This makes me see things more clearly when I read this. It reminds me of something my newspaper in high school quoted me saying.
" It takes a true star to know that the sun is bigger, but still shines as bright at it can." - Megan Wian 2004
I'm not sure what the original subject was on or why I came up with that, but I know it was when I started my journey to self discovery.
Example Two: The movie "Mona Lisa's Smile."
The example isn't the whole movie but a specific part. If you know or have seen this movie you know this part, and it more than likely made you think a little:
Giselle is a promiscuous girl, in love with a married man. but her best friend Betty, is a snooty, rich, "square". Giselle goes about her actions, even though she really is unhappy with herself. Betty does her daily duties as a newlywed, and tries to be what everyone expects of her. Things started getting rocky for Betty when she discovers her husband has been cheating. Giselle witnessed Betty's husbands deception, when she saw him and his lover on the streets. Giselle decides to mind her own business. She knows Betty would deny it either way. This is the script of the scene, where sad and upset, Betty, verbally attacks Giselle, in attempt to feel better about her own situation. Friends try to calm the situation down but I'm sure Giselle is the only one who did it effectively.
[Giselle has been secretly seeing a married psychologist]
Betty Warren: Does he pay you for sex? I mean, at the rate you're going, you could make a fortune.
Joan Brandwyn(friend): Betty!
Betty Warren: Everyone thinks so. Do you know what they say? They say you're a whore. And pretty soon, once they've all sampled you, they'll toss you aside like a used rag.
Joan Brandwyn(friend): Betty, stop! Now!
Betty Warren: The men you love don't even want you! Your father doesn't want you!
Giselle Levy: [to Connie] I'm gonna meet you downstairs.
Betty Warren: Professor Dunbar?
Connie Baker (friend): Betty, that's enough!
Betty Warren: Everyone knows that you hide outside his house! It must be torturous running after a man who doesn't even care about you. Who's in love with someone else. Who hates you!
Giselle Levy: Betty...
Betty Warren: He *hates* you!
[Giselle pulls Betty into a hug]
Betty Warren: Get off of me!
[Betty struggles, but gives in and sobs on Giselle's shoulder]
Betty Warren: [about her husband] He doesn't want me!
Giselle Levy: [sympathetically] I know...
Giselle was so selfless and humble. If her pride had taken over, the whole scene would have gone a different way. A friendship would have ended.
These are just a couple of examples of humility in my eyes. I know you can define it in your own words.
So just try it, cause I bet the more you think about it, the more you act on it.
Make that change.
Hi, Megan (and Nicole). I think you've shared some fairly profound thoughts here. I love your 3rd sentence: "I am, sadly, one of those people who is unaware of my own self worth,and full of unnecessary pride." I think you explain and demonstrate well the difference b/w pride and an awareness of one's worth. Regarding what you share about stepping back and letting it happen without you, I'll say this: we have a finite amount of energy. And I mean energy in every sense of the word: mental, emotional, etc. in addition to physical. After we choose, wisely, to avoid unnecessary drama, we can use our energy in more productive (and pleasing to God) ways.
ReplyDeleteBottom line, I agree with Nicole: you've written this well. God bless.
Yay, Brandee! I knew I could count on you! ;) Thanks for reading and commenting and joining. Wanna write, too? Pretty please? In any way you want?
ReplyDeleteI am happy I stopped by Nicole's blog today - She was right this is a very deep and powerful post.
ReplyDeleteSelf worth is a difficult concept and it's easy to assimilate it with pride even if the 2 are totally different.
For the past 30 years I can say I had a hard time with this, but slowly I started to see my imperfections were natural and God created me this way for a reason, one I could maybe not understand right now. So I started looking at me and others with more indulgent eyes.
Thank you for this insight. Take care.