I'm not going to drink but I'm definitely getting drunk tomorrow.
Not really but I read that somewhere and I liked it. Quite truthfully though, if I were still a drinker, today would count as a trigger.
Bad news came today. Really bad news. But that's okay. Today, I don't need to drink. I just need to remember to keep giving it over to God. Asking 'why' seems appropriate right now but then again how often do we get an answer to that question?
So instead, I'll ask Him to, "Create in me a clean heart....and renew a right spirit within me." -Psalm 51:10
This word, 'right' can mean, 'fixed', or 'stable'.
So my heart needs to remain stable even in what feels like a torrent of bad news, fixed, with my eyes, on Jesus. Another way to keep my spiritual house clean.
Today, I have learned how to stay 'clean and sober' from alcohol.
I need still, sobriety from self, which can be as simple as the acknowledgement that I don't have to panic. Because if I panic, this is a sure sign that I believe I'm in control. Paradoxically, remaining peaceful means I've given it over.
So, easy does it, today.
I am sorry about the bad news, no one ever wants to hear it, but turning it over to Jesus and trusting in him is the best thing to do about it. I find myself at times like this saying "Lord this didn't catch you by surprise, just be with me and help me."
ReplyDeleteI have read all your entries, I appreciate your honesty, I can so totally relate with the majority of what you have written. It is a struggle to break out of the mold of self and to die to myself and live for Jesus. But like you said, it is a lifelong journey. I too long for the day to see Jesus and eternity with him, wow! It doesn't get any better than that, no matter what may come our way.