Simple But Not Easy

"Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.   Simple but not easy; a price had to be paid.  It meant destruction of self-centeredness.  I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all....Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish."  - "Bill's Story" -AA.


God, I am willing.  Yes, there is fear, but faith is stronger.  Faith is the evidence of things not seen.  Lord, what You require You can accomplish.  You alone are God.  Not my will but Yours be done.


Sometimes I want to put a disclaimer on my words.  I want to say, "If you like these words, their mine.  If not, they were God's ideas."  How much self-will is in that?

I am learning more and more what it means to walk in this faith which requires brutal honesty.  Which requires an admittance to my natural lack of humility.  Which requires me more often than not to hold my tongue until what I say is not from me but Him.  His words come out better.  Yes, I am learning this.

I had to do a group project for school.  I'm not overly fond of group projects.  I'm a bit independent.  I am prideful, rather.  This was the second group project with this group.  This group, I particularly was not fond of.  The self-proclaimed leader of the group took my words on our final paper and she chopped them to bits.  She basically, created a sparknotes version of what I had written.  I wanted to write her a nasty email.

 But I didn't.

 I waited.

 And then I changed some but not all of my words back when I was asked to look over the draft.  I humbly gave my suggestions.  I waited some more.

And then she called me.  She was having a problem with another group member.  For the very reason she had almost had a problem with me.

I was diplomatic and patient on the phone.  I said I'd help.

And then she said, "I knew I could call you.  You seem pretty easy going."

What?!

Yes, God must have gifted me with a way with words, because easy going, I am not.  For as unassertive as I may appear to be on the outside, I am as much, if not more, insistently emphatic when I rant and rave behind people's backs.

 But God is taking me through lessons on tongue-holding and patience.   And so when she said this, I just chuckled to myself because that was all God.  Anything kind she sensed from me was God through me.  Trust me, I was not before this, feeling kindly toward her.  And today, I read, James 3. That is serious business.

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this should not be."


My pride causes me to curse someone who has been made in God's likeness.  This should not be.  And so, the journey to destroy self-centeredness.